Late in 2013, Paul Hansmeier, formerly of Prenda Law’s Legal Buffoonery on Wheels Copyright
Death Suicide Squad, realized that participating in a multi-jurisdictional legal train wreck had left him oddly unfulfilled. If the promise contained in his law degree was ever to be fulfilled, he would need to reassess his shakedown-focused lawyering.
After an indeterminable amount of thought, Hansmeier apparently arrived at the conclusion that — unfulfilled promise or no — he was really only good at one thing: shaking people down. And, sadly, he wasn’t even all that great at that. But “sue what you know,” as they say, and Hansmeier went about rebranding himself as a Champion of the Weak and Underprivileged.
No longer would he be throwing shaky demand letters and even shakier lawsuits at Household Members Voted Most Likely To Download Porn by the loose confederation of shakedown artists d/b/a An Actual Law Firm (“Come see our letterhead!”). That was the old Paul Hansmeier.
The new Paul Hansmeier would instead be throwing shaky lawsuits and demand letters at any company whose towel racks were located more than 32″ above the ground or whose entry threshold was a ¼” above the legally-mandated height. The smaller the company the better, as they rarely even bothered to show up in court and would instead settle for a small fee.
The new Paul Hansmeier’s operations were so efficient he could barely keep himself stocked in A4. Filings were submitted so fast not even the plaintiffs were aware they were listed as plaintiffs. And it was working, to a limited extent. Hansmeier was able to knock over a few mom-and-pop businesses for a few grand each. But now he’s run into Kahler Hotels, which not only isn’t interested in his ADA shakedown claims, but is countersuing him for $50,000+. (h/t to Dan Browning of the Minneapolis Star-Tribune)
COUNT I – ABUSE OF PROCESS
1. Defendants are owners of real property located in Rochester, Minnesota.
2. Plaintiffs filed and served the instant action alleging violations of the Americans with Disabilities Act, violation of the Minnesota Human Rights Act and unfair discrimination.
3. Plaintiffs have an ulterior purpose in pursuing the claims set forth in their Complaint.
4. Plaintiffs’ Complaint misuses and perverts the purpose of a civil action.
5. As a direct and proximate result of Plaintiffs’ abuse of process, Defendants have sustained damages in excess of $50,000.
COUNT II – CIVIL CONSPIRACY
6. Defendants incorporate in this paragraph the allegations set forth in Paragraphs 1 through 5 as though they were fully set forth herein.
7. The Plaintiffs are engaged in a civil conspiracy to accomplish some concerted action, which injures Defendants.
8. The Plaintiffs did commit, and executed certain acts in pursuance of certain torts as previously delineated against the Defendants.
9. That as a result of the Plaintiffs’ tortious conduct alleged herein, Plaintiffs did conspire and agree to commit such acts.
10. As a direct and proximate result thereof, Defendants have sustained damages in excess of $50,000.
WHEREFORE, Defendants pray for entry of judgment as follows:
1. Plaintiffs take nothing by their Complaint as alleged;
2. Defendants are awarded damages in excess of $50,000 together with interest, costs, disbursements and attorney’s fees; and
3. The court order such further relief as it deems just and equitable.
Whether or not the counterclaims (which are really, really vague) hold up remains to be seen, but this motion should give Hansmeier second thoughts about trolling this particular venue for easy ADA cash.